This blog on "Attitude is everything" is based on the book by Jeff Keller, first published in 2015.All the views and opinions expressed in the blog is taken from the book. The insights on this topic is explained very carefully and thoroughly by Mr. Jeff Keller in this book. He has been delivering speeches and lectures on Attitude and motivation from many years.
Living a happier and successful life depends on the kind of attitude you have in your control. How you think? What kind of learning setbacks can give you? How do you keep a positive attitude when approaching a problem?
As Dr. Norman Vincent pleas quotes “You are not what you think you are but what you think - you are”.Your attitude is the window to the real world.It acts a mental window for the world.When we are born,we all start with a good attitude and have a clean mental window but as we grow older we get a lot of criticism,a lot of disappointments,we face a lot of failures which starts to settle down as dirt on our mental window.Most of the people do nothing about it.They starts accepting their life as it is.They starts living with less enthusiasm.
So what kind of impact does it have on the us?
We start losing faith in ourselves,we start accepting our life and do nothing about it.This is the point where we need to clean our mental window.Our mental window gives the reflection of who we are to the outside world.
We are a human magnet.”We become what we think about”.It may sound simpler in your head but let's look at it with an illustration.
Let's say kabir thinks of earning 50000/year,he starts thinking about the ways in which he can get it.His mind automatically attracts the opportunity from which he can achieve his goal.Suppose if he is sitting in the restaurant and he overheard two person speaking about a job offer or an opening in a company his mind will automatically attract the conversation as kabir was thinking about it for past many days.So here's what our mind becomes a human magnet. Kabir will approach them and can get an opportunity of working for his dream.It's quite possible that when he will achieve that goal he might set up an another goal and works towards it in a positive way.
But what happens when we face a failure after all these efforts.Most people get frustrated and annoyed with themselves,they start accepting the fact that they can never achieve something that they might have dreamed of once.They start saying words like “I don't have luck by my side”.
You see a problem is often not a problem.There can be a flip side to it.Sometimes you face a failure and you start thinking that you might not get such an opportunity again.There is a possibility that you might turn your problems into opportunity.Lets get it straight with our previous example.
Suppose if Kabir did everything right to get that job but he got rejected in the interview.He starts taking his failure too seriously and start believing the fact that he might not be able to achieve his goal.After two weeks,he gets an another opportunity better than the previous one.He then realizes that the first job was much less desirable than the one that came later.The earlier rejection was just a blessing to be able to get replaced by something better.
We could turn our problems into an opportunity only if we have hope in ourselves and we keep a positive attitude throughout.
Have you ever imagined that your words greatly influence your mindset? Have you ever given a thought on how carefully you should choose your words?
Your words play a very important role in shaping your mindset and it could greatly influence your results.Think it as row of Dominos
Thoughts > Words > Beliefs > Actions > Results.
Whenever you say something,it creates a thought in your mind.As stated by Rudyard Kipling “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind”.If you say that you can’t do anything,you will create a mindset of that you will always be a failure in it as it goes whatever you think you get your results according to that.
Imagine you saying to yourself about something that you could never achieve.Saying words like “I am not good at it”,”I will never be able to do it”.what was the outcome of saying all those words to yourself.You created a negative mindset and lost all your confidence at even trying out that thing which eventually resulted in your failure.
You will never be able to do that work ever.It is not like you will be perfect in everything,it’s just that what is the point of speaking all those negative words to yourself,if you are not gaining anything from it.Whenever you speak to other people around you,use positive words.It will give them the boost up that they might have needed at that point.And nevertheless,you would be creating a positive environment in the room.
As written in the bible “A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.”
Thinking back to when we were growing ,our parents were always concerned about who we are hanging out with.They were always concerned about the fact that we don’t fall into any bad influence.We see the terms Toxic people and nourishing people.Toxic people are the one who always dwell in negativity.The thoughts that they have in their mind are,”we can’t achieve this”,”this task is out of our bounds” or whenever you ask them “how was their day”,”how you feeling today” you always listen them saying “it was terrible”,”It couldn't get worse”.It is totally understandable that they might be saying the truth but saying negative words won’t be making their day any better.
Sometimes all these people do is drain out the energy of everyone around them.Spending time with toxic people will definitely wear down your energy.We become part of what we are around.On the other hand have you came across someone who is energetic.enthusiastic and positive? There is something about the positive people.They simply have the positive energy that lights up the room.When you are around them you start gaining their attitude,you start getting influenced by their positive attitude.
People are like sponges.They always “soak up” the words that are being spoken around them.These words have a great influence on us.So when we spend time with negative people, we soak up all the negativity and our minds tend to think in a negative way which alters the results of any problem.Though the reverse is definitely true.
We should surround ourselves with positive people and they will lift us up to the ladder of success.
Now even after all these things,it's a general tendency of a human that we always tend to stay in our comfort zone.We all know a common saying “In order to achieve something we need to get out of our comfort zone.”
So what is a comfort zone?how will we know our comfort zone?
Everyone’s comfort zones are different.The basic works,the daily routine a person follows is their comfort zone.We are so comfortable at that place that we don't wanna get out of it.For example,if a person is going to the gym, his comfort zone lies in his dail workout where he lifts up the same amount of weights everyday not trying to work harder or to improve himself.He is definitely comfortable in doing that everyday.But by doing so whether he will be able to progress?Whether he will be able to increase his strength?Whether he will be able to gain something by doing so? Off course not.He will remain at the same place where he is right now.Then what is the whole point of doing the task when you can’t make progress in it.
If you want to be successful,you must be willing to be uncomfortable.
Then why does it get so difficult for people to get out of their comfort zone? It’s because people are so afraid of their fears that they choose to stay wherever they are.They are afraid of confronting their own fear.They start thinking of the results before even trying the things out.Their WHAT IF starts to counter their thinking capability and therefore they choose a more safer way.Their fear and anxiety increases when they get out of their comfort zone.They surely back off as they realize that it relieves their fear and anxiety.There is only one benefit when someone refuse to confront their fear.They only gain the sigh of relief for not getting in some sort of position where they are not comfortable.But what they don’t realize is the price they pay when they don't confront their fears.
They feel powerless and frustrated,their esteem is lowered,they sabotage their success.
Nobody can guarantee you that when you step out of your comfort zone you will surely be achieving success.But we have often heard this phrase from our childhood “Failure is the stepping stones to success”.It’s as true as it gets.The more you try,the more you fail.What you gain from failing? You gain experience.Failures yield more learning than success.If you fail 100 times,you surely have no idea what to do,But you definitely have 100 ideas of what not to do.
That is what failure leaves us with.
To conclude here’s a quote from Norman Vincent Peale: “To change your circumstances,first start thinking differently.”
Written by: Sparsh Nimje
Reference: Attitude is everything - by Jeff Keller